As the joy of parenthood unfolds, it's essential to remember that romance doesn't fade away; it simply transforms. This February, we explore the delicate dance of romantic love during pregnancy and early parenthood, offering tips and insights to reassure expecting and new parents. Let's delve into the world where sweet beginnings meet the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Maintaining Romance with a Newborn

It can feel hard — especially in the early days and weeks — to imagine what romance might look like after having a baby, especially your first. But through the haze of sleepless nights, there is romance to be found. A sweet note left with breakfast in the fridge; a water bottle refilled and kept cool; a snack tray made for midnight munchies — it doesn’t have to be much, but it’s the small things that help to show how much you care.

Have you ever heard of the Six Second Kiss? Research has shown that kissing helps couples feel connected and close, and everyone can spare six seconds, right? Make a point of giving each other a six-second kiss at least once per day. Choose the morning, before you part ways for the day, or the evening when you come back together, but make sure you do it, and reap the rewards of a renewed feeling of connection to your partner.

What to do for Valentine's Day when you have a newborn?

Welcoming a newborn into your life is a monumental shift, but it doesn't mean you have to bid farewell to romantic gestures. Romance doesn’t have to mean dinner at a fancy restaurant. If you used to enjoy cooking together, get a meal kit and cook that together (all the fun, none of the stress of planning). If dinner and a movie were your thing, order from your favourite restaurant and watch a movie on Netflix. It might take more than one night to watch the movie, but let that extend the fun, instead of making you feel frustrated. 

For more active couples, who used to enjoy hiking pre-baby, research a route that’s easy to do with your baby in a carrier. Take a picnic with you and enjoy some quality family time at a beautiful viewpoint. If you’re lucky, your baby will enjoy the hike as much as you do — babywearing is known to emit a bit of magical sleepy dust for most babies.

If travelling is your thing, try to plan a weekend away. Sure, holidays as a parent are rarely as relaxing and carefree as it was before having a baby, but a change of scenery can breathe new life into everyone. 

See where we’re going with this? Use your shared pre-baby interests to plan something that reminds you both of who you were before you had your baby, while being possible and enjoyable afterwards. Remember, it's the small moments that strengthen your bond.

Romantic Strategies for New Parents

Parenthood might bring challenges, but it also opens new avenues for shared experiences. Here are a few fun tips to keep the flame of romance burning:

• Create a Baby-Free Zone: Designate a space in your home where baby-related discussions are off-limits. This allows you both to focus on each other without the constant hum of parenthood. 
• Surprise Love Notes: In the midst of diaper changes and sleepless nights, surprise your partner with little love notes. Tuck them into unexpected places, ensuring a smile during those hectic moments.
• Eat Meals Together: Sharing a meal, without screens or distractions (as far as possible, obviously) will help you feel closer to your partner. This is one of five Rituals of Connection the Gottman Institute shares that can help you feel closer to your partner.
• Celebrate Milestones Together: Whether it's your baby's first laugh or a successful diaper change, celebrate these milestones as a team. Acknowledging the shared journey reinforces your connection.