Every few years we get buzz words running around social circles and the internet. Attachment parenting, CIO, Ferberizing, and so on. Sometimes you find a concept that resonates with you and changes how you choose to parent and, for us, the recent move towards positive parenting has been that. Here’s a look at positive parenting and few tips and tricks to help you get started.
OK, but what is Positive Parenting?
It’s a method of parenting through mutual respect, using discipline without breaking the child’s spirit or creating an atmosphere of fear and shame. Many of today’s parents of young children were parented primarily in an atmosphere of fear and shame. In order to break that cycle, positive parenting gives you the tools to create a more positive environment that helps you to interact with your child on a more constructive level.
Sounds good, but how?
There are 15 central tenets of positive parenting. That may seem like a lot, but let’s look at them in more detail:
- Consequences that make sense
- Validate, empathise, sympathise
- Talk at the child’s level
- Explain and help them learn from their mistakes
- Talk to your child like an individual
- Provide warnings
- Provide clear expectations
- Tell kids what they should do, rather than what they shouldn’t
- Keep it positive
- Be consistent and keep your word
- Be loving and firm
- Use humour
- Let your child have their feelings
- Be aware of age appropriateness
- Keep your own feelings and judgements in check
All of these central structures are based around a positive, respectful relationship between a parent and a child. They guide us to talk with our children, not down to them. To teach them about life from an empathic place, not a punitive one.
Alright, but how do I get started?
Right now! Start by changing how you speak to your child. Acknowledge their emotions, accept that they will happen, and know that they are good and normal. Tantrums are not manipulative, they are one of the ways children vent strong emotions. Help children by guiding them. Provide them with warnings of transitions, or that they are crossing boundaries or behaving inappropriately. Accept that they won’t always be able to stop themselves; they’re young, and impulses can be hard for us all to control! Approach the relationship with your child the way you would a dear and cherished friend: with patience, calm and a whole ton of love.
So that’s it! A little bit of positive parenting can go a long way towards smoothing your relationship with your child and making it a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
- Positive Parenting: https://positiveparenting.com/
- What is Positive Parenting and why it is important?: https://bilingualkidspot.com/2018/10/31/what-is-positive-parenting-tips-techniques/
- Positive Parenting: Start with 10 tips for better behavior: https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/start-10-tips-better-behavior